65 Hilarious CRA Jokes & Canadian Tax One-Liners to Make You Laugh Through Tax Season

1. The CRA doesn’t do jump scares — they do “We need to review your file.”
2. I tried claiming my stress as a dependent. CRA said it wasn’t “born in Canada.”
3. CRA agents don’t ghost you — they haunt you.
4. I told CRA I identify as tax-exempt. They didn’t laugh.
5. CRA auditors are like snowstorms — you never know when they’re coming but you know they’ll ruin your day.
6. I asked CRA for mercy. They asked for receipts.
7. CRA doesn’t do horror movies. They create them.
8. “I love doing taxes,” said no Canadian ever.
9. CRA has one superpower: finding income you forgot you even earned.
10. The CRA slogan should be: “We were checking anyway.”
11. CRA doesn’t say hi — they say “We noticed something unusual.”
12. CRA is like winter: long, cold, and always coming back.
13. My accountant is now my emotional support human.
14. Canadians don’t fear bears. They fear CRA letters.
15. The CRA calendar has only two seasons: Tax Season and Audit Season.
16. CRA holds your refund hostage just to see you squirm.
17. CRA doesn’t chase you — they stroll confidently because they know you’ll come back.
18. The quickest way to sober up? An email from CRA.
19. CRA agents don’t smile. They “evaluate facial deductions.”
20. I tried to write off my bad decisions. CRA disagreed.
21. CRA: “We’re not mad. We’re just… reviewing.”
22. The CRA helpline is just a hold music festival with a tax theme.
23. You know it’s Canada when the CRA letter starts with “Dear.”
24. CRA agents don’t count sheep — they count unclaimed expenses.
25. CRA doesn’t knock. They materialize.
26. My favourite CRA app feature? None of them.
27. CRA doesn’t do Valentine’s Day. They prefer “Reassessment Day.”
28. My tax return is like a boomerang. It comes back with issues.
29. I asked for a refund. CRA asked for a miracle.
30. CRA’s favourite yoga pose? The “Show Us Everything” stretch.
31. CRA isn’t scary… unless you’ve had a good year.
32. CRA wants you to save money… so they can collect more next year.
33. I treat my CRA account like my ex — avoid it at all costs.
34. CRA doesn’t read bedtime stories. They recite tax legislation.
35. CRA is the only group that gets excited when you make money.
36. If CRA ever smiled, the budget would go into a deficit again.
37. CRA’s favourite holiday? April.
38. If you hear footsteps behind you, relax — it’s probably CRA.
39. CRA invented anxiety.
40. My side hustles now have a side hustle… paperwork.
41. CRA’s love language is audits.
42. CRA doesn’t play Monopoly — they audit it.
43. CRA agents don’t drink coffee. They consume taxpayer tears.
44. The CRA app should come with a therapist.
45. CRA: “We saw you bought coffee. Please explain.”
46. Nothing ruins a Friday like a Thursday CRA email.
47. CRA doesn’t do suspense — they do dread.
48. “It’s just a review” = it’s never just a review.
49. CRA would tax your dreams if they could be valued.
50. I don’t fear ghosts. I fear “Additional Info Required.”
51. CRA has no favourite child — they audit all equally.
52. CRA agents don’t blink. They “process.”
53. CRA doesn’t want drama. They want documentation.
54. CRA would tax your thoughts if they weren’t so negative.
55. My tax return crashed. CRA said that was “expected performance.”
56. The CRA online chat is just a loading screen with ambition.
57. CRA takes longer to refund than Canada Post takes to lose your package.
58. CRA has a sixth sense — and it’s audit-related.
59. CRA doesn’t do small talk. They do small print.
60. My hobby is avoiding CRA letters.
61. The scariest three letters in Canada? C-R-A.
62. CRA doesn’t care about your feelings — just your filing.
63. I tried saying “sorry” to CRA. Didn’t work.
64. My accountant says my CRA file is “spicy.”
65. CRA’s favourite snack? Undocumented expenses.

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